A Few Thoughts on Productivity

Often times I will find myself succumbing to the habits I have developed over the years that I experience a sense of shame over. I will go through periods of laziness, where I have so many things I would like to be doing, learning, experiencing, but I find myself weighed down by the energy these things require. I believe there is a balancing act that can be very helpful to learn when deciding how productive you need to be in order to achieve your goals, and how much time is needed to intentionally rest your mind and body. Endless productivity can be an extreme mindset to adopt, quickly leading to burnout and high stress. But, the other extreme mindset that we are not machines and we should lead lives of bliss can also be a dangerous slope without the proper context. What if a happy life can be achieved from a mix of both rest and productivity?

For some time now, I have been under the impression that to spend more time working towards the things I would like to accomplish in life, I would first need to adopt the correct mindset, and the motivation to work would follow. Patience is the key, and the longer you wait, coupled with a fervent belief that things will work out, the closer to success you will be. This mode of thinking proves frustrating when I look upon someone who seemingly has the things I want and, when asked how they reached that point, they respond with how hard they worked and how dedicated they were to their goals. I am starting to believe that the way I have been trying to tackle this issue in my own personal life has been backwards for some time now.

        Mark Twain has a quote in his autobiography that sends me down a rabbit hole of analyzing the thoughts and ideas that I am basing my life around, and it is as follows:

“What a wee part of a person’s life are his acts and his words. His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.”

What is prompted in me when I read those two lines is that the actions we take in our day-to-day lives are such a minuscule part of who we are. But, for the sake of our future and for the sake of our dreams and goals, these minuscule actions are stepping stones towards the physical realities that we want to see manifested. There are certain actions that need to be taken to ensure that my goals are being met, and that I am ultimately showcasing the version of myself that I would like to see. This is obviously easier said than done, and you can see it played out in even the most overused examples. (I believe they are overused because of the ease that they provide in demonstrating an idea, so bear with me.) I envision myself as someone who enjoys the act of exercising my body to remain in shape, to remain able to perform physical tasks without too much burden on my energy. I believe in the power of exercise to offer benefits that go beyond just the physicality aspect; benefiting my mental stability, my energy levels, my emotional maturity, etc., etc.. I also really love junk food, and I find it challenging to restrict myself when I have something like cosmic brownies anywhere around me. Like, eating-an-entire-box-in-a-day challenging. It seems as though many people have these challenges, and they aren’t afraid to admit it. That’s the first step towards progress, right? Admitting a fault. When we are able to admit a fault to ourselves, it becomes evident that we want a change. But where do we go from there? 

        Upon graduation from high school, I joined a Christian community in my hometown that provided a positive, uplifting community of like-minded individuals all seemingly chasing a shared idea: that there is a powerful being that can help ease all of your burdens and give you hope for the future. I do not intend to get into the details of why I joined this community and, ultimately, why I left. But, I do find it interesting to analyze what I thought I was getting from it. Along with the exercise/junk food dichotomy, it seems to me that what I was after was a quick fix for all of my problems, and after I discovered that it requires more effort on my part than I had originally hoped for, I moved on to the next thing. It is much easier to give into the parts of myself that desire an easy route. The easy route is sitting on the couch and eating six cosmic brownies, and then feeling bad ten minutes later. I can lay my head down, vow to not do that thing again that made me feel so bad, and start fresh the next day. Maybe for a few days I would be okay. I would have the willpower to say no to the brownies and instead start my exercise routine back up. Instead of sitting down to write out the idea I have had floating around in my head, I could watch these next three episodes of my current favorite TV show, and write tomorrow. There is, at all times, this thing that I would like to be doing that requires my energy and effort, and another thing that requires minimal effort, providing an escape, and the choice is mine to make. Long-term satisfaction or short-term gratification?

        After leaving the church community that I was a part of, I began exploring ideas that fell more in line with the spirituality of life, rather than cut-and-dry applications for reaching a magical final destination. What I discovered in these ideas was an openness to all that life is offering you. One idea that I came across was the idea of surrendering to all that you desire and feel in the moment; a beautiful idea, with context. I was told that if I surrender to the desires within myself that want the brownies now, that want the TV show now, that want me to take the easy route, then I would eventually come to a place of burnout and boredom with these things. Thus, sparking the energy to pursue what it is that I truly desire on a deeper level. So, I gave it a try and here we are, three years later, still unable to break those habits. So, what am I missing in this equation? Do I continue on the path of surrendering to my easy-way-out desires, leading me down a path of self-shaming and regret for the things I want to accomplish but refuse to spend the energy doing? I don’t believe this is the answer. I no longer believe that good things come to those who wait. I believe this is a half-baked argument for those struggling with self-realization. 

        I believe the spiritual and the physical play off of each other. My inner-life is filled with positives and negatives, but if the positives are what I would like to see manifested in my life, therein lies the actionable path that I must build from.  In order to achieve the goal of writing, let’s say, a novel, you must first deny yourself the endless escapism of the easy route, that is, not writing. In order to remain in shape and to stick to an exercise routine, you must deny yourself the endless consumption of cosmic brownies. You learn to compartmentalize tasks, and use these ways of escaping as tools for your productivity. I stuck to my exercise routine this week, so I’ll have one brownie on Sunday. I spent time writing every day this week as planned, so let’s have a night of watching the TV show or movie I have been wanting to see. Offering yourself these small rewards are, I believe, an excellent way to stay on track and see your best imagined self realized. 

        I do not fault the idea of remaining open and accepting to your desires, good or bad. I believe I had an immature version in my head, and I used that as fuel for battling the shame around my less-desirable habits. Though I have yet to return to the spiritual ideas that I came across during that period of self-searching, I remain open to possibly returning to them in the future. I do see them as a beneficial way of battling the internal shame, offering openness and love even to those parts of yourself that you want to keep locked up in the basement of your being, but I also believe that they must be coupled with the act of self-preservation as to not promote harmful habits to take back the reins. 

        Action-oriented plans are a great tool to have in your tool belt, and are often underestimated when one is trying to implement structure. Let’s say I want to learn to speak Spanish. I can sit and watch Youtube videos all day long on how someone learned Spanish, from the steps they took, the amount of time spent with it, to the resources they used to get there. The next person had a slightly different way of achieving the goal. Uh oh, which way do I go? Let’s maybe get a little more clarity from some more videos before I start... Thus, you end up creating an endless loop of searching for the perfect way to learn this language, and you haven’t started the actual act of practicing the language yourself! It is normal to seek out direction when you are wanting to start a new journey, but there is a tight edge you must walk there to avoid falling into the trap that is the endless cycle of planning. Planning only gets you so far. Planning the task without actually beginning the task is equivalent to waiting for ‘good things’ to happen to you instead of taking action-oriented steps towards seeing those ‘good things’ realized. 

        This, I believe, is the path towards unlocking the parts of your brain that will get you to the place of feeling like you are creating the life you would like to live. Mixing the right amount of give and take; giving yourself those things that you think will satisfy, and taking those things that you think will give you a deeper sense of satisfaction with your life. All the while remaining open to the idea that maybe your current way of doing things could use a bit of tweaking.